How the Lord showed me his love over three days:
In the bathroom of my gym, a little girl was having a shower on her own. Her mother stood on the other side of the shower curtain passing her shampoo, soap and instructions. Her mother left for a few minutes to get something from their locker. I heard the little girl call, "Mom...Mom...where are you?" I immediately wanted to alert her mother but the mother's response was quick. "I'm here, honey," she said, hurrying back to the shower.
And the Lord spoke to me: "You know, I am like that mother. I hear you cry even before you call. And I am right there next to you. Even when you feel alone I know what is happening." I myself had felt the urgency to call out to her mother to go back to her child, and I was just a stranger. How much more would the Lord react when he hears our cries?
As I confessed before the Lord of my sins, I meditated on the Lord's washing of his disciples' feet. In my spirit I longed for the washing from the Lord. Suddenly he took me back to the time when I gave my daughter a bath for the first time. I held my newborn child so tightly that I left a mark on her arm and the nurse coaching me had to tell me to relax my grip. I was not going to let her be hurt. I also remembered my son's reaction to what I thought would have been a soothing bath. He squirmed and screamed in anger and fear. How I struggled not to drop this slippery, struggling baby into the water. I remember that only after he realized that he could relax in my grip and trust that he would be safe in my hands that he could enjoy his bath water.
And I felt the Lord say to me that this was how I reacted when he is cleansing me of my sins. How I fight and rail against his opportunities of purifying me. How much more I must learn to trust in his strength. In times of testing and trials if I can only relax in the grip of his grace how much easier it would be to pass through those valleys of darkness. As a mother, I made sure that I held my babies securely so that they would not slip out of my hold. How much more precious I am to him, and how much more the Lord keeps me and holds on to me in the palm of his hand.
I was reminded of the wonderful time alone with my baby after his bath. How sweet he smelled. Exhausted by the fighting and the warm bath, how contented he was to be held to my breast and nurse until he fell asleep in my arms. What love would pour from my heart as I watched my tiny, lovely baby, completely at peace.
And I thought how I too cleansed of sin can delight in that time alone with my God in so similar a way. With my anxieties cast aside, I envision myself crawling up to the bosom of my Lord this way, drinking of him, drawing close to him, and finally resting in him. How strongly had I felt the love for my nursing baby. How much more great is my Lord's love for me, his child.